Is there anywhere in the world you’d rather be right now than warm and safe and relaxed in your own bed? Oh really, you’d like to be on a hike up a mountain or swimming in the sea or screaming at the top of a rollercoaster? I don’t believe you. Being in bed is the best thing about life and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. (When I say ‘fight’ I mean ‘ignore’.)
Whether you’re in my camp and you love bed more than seems reasonable and sane or you think I’m quite mad and can’t see the appeal, read on for 7 words about sleep that’ll make you long for your bed.
Also known as ‘being a teenager’, clinomania has reached epidemic proportions. It’s just occurred to me that the increase in clinomania happened at around the same time as the invention of memory foam mattresses, the rise of Netflix and the legalization of weed. Coincidence?
Similar to clinomania, dysania can strike as all from time to time, usually on days that end with y.
Impossible to pronounce, euneirophrenia is a gateway drug to full blown clinomania. Why would you want to get out of bed when you’ve just had the best dream involving *insert your favorite sexy celebrity here*, a bottle of champagne and a jar of Nutella.
People’s experience of dormiveglia varies wildly. Some people snap from asleep to awake in a second with minimal dormiveglia while others take a little time to wake up properly. I tend to get my dormiveglia out of the way between waking and about 1pm, then I’m good for the day.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all estivate in the summer like the aristocracy of the 18th and 19th century when the only requirements of the day were breakfast in bed, dinner on the terrace and cocktails and 6 o’clock sharp.
Did you know that if you pandiculate eight times in a row you have an orgasm? Or was that sneeze eight times in a row? I don’t know, give it a try.
Something that produces a state of drowsy, tranquil pleasure…We’re all thinking it so I might as well say it. Yes, that’s right, the best way to induce a state of kef is to eat a huge carb-heavy meal.