Stories

Every generation thinks that they invented sex but these classic works of literature, one from as early as 1748, show that there’s more to erotica than whips and chains. Now considered fine examples of high-brow literature most of these books were banned on release due to the effect they might have on public morals.

Read on for 5 of the raunchiest passages from classic literature.

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We’re in chapter 10 of Lady Chatterley’s lover here and our protagonists, unhappy aristocrat Connie and her gamekeeper Mellors are in the woods. First published privately in 1928, D.H. Lawrence’s notorious erotic tale was the subject of an obscenity trial in 1960 when Penguin tried to publish an uncensored version in the UK. You’re going to have to read the whole book to find out why.

Raunchiest Passages 02

Also known as Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, Fanny Hill was first published in 1748 and is thought to be the first example of prose pornography in the English language. Now considered a classic, Fanny Hill is famous for passages like this one where Fanny Hill describes, well, you know what she’s describing, in great depth. And girth, apparently.

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Before True Blood, before Twilight, before even Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bram Stoker gave the world Count Dracula, the Transylvanian vampire with only one thing on his mind. Written in 1897, Dracula was not considered erotic enough to ban and famously adapted in 1922 into the film Nosferatu.

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Too long to quote in one go, this passage is the final section of a 50 page long stream of consciousness from Molly, Leopold Bloom’s wife, during which she describes her carnal desires. Considered one of the most controversial books of the 20th century, it was Ulysses masturbation scene that landed it at obscenity trial in the 1920s.

Raunchiest Passages 05The ultimate book of seduction, Dangerous Liasons or Les Liaisons dangereuses is a book composed entirely of letters between aristocratic former lovers who use sex as a weapon to degrade. Although light on the erotica, this novel is highly suggestive and was considered immoral at the time of its release. Yes, even in France.

Regret is a harrowing and haunting journey back to acceptance and stability.

There are so many reasons and excuses as to why we don’t take initiative or grasp opportunities presented to us.

Life goes on. Ready or not. But here’s some reasons why it’s important to do even when you’re not.

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Common and terrible regret to face.

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Even worse than regret is regretting you wasted time regretting.

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If we hesitate we may miss an opportunity to live and love preciously.

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That’s too long of a time to not be having something.

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Without the inspiration to initiate, there is no follow through.

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The day is ours, friends. We must not wait to claim what’s already rightfully ours.

Life waits for no one. But with a proper heart it will always welcome you into it’s graces. But that time past is already spent. Time is a precious resource. Use it sparingly.

That’s our 7 Reasons Why You’ll Regret Waiting Until You’re Ready In Life.

 

Finishing a book you love is a uniquely sweet sorrow. The final line of a novel is a destination we desperately want to reach and at the same time hope never to arrive at.

The experience of reading the book is over but the memory of the story can stay with you always. The final sentence is the writer’s last chance to fire your imagination and has the power to confirm or disrupt everything that has come before.

Read on for the most effective closing lines to a novel you’ll ever read.

1) “Are there any questions?”

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Yes, of course there are! The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood’s dystopic masterpiece closes with a transcript of a conference during which academics look back on the oppressive Gilead period our Handmaid narrator has just lived through. A potent reminder that every regime can crumble and a critique of official History and its limits.

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These lines may come from painter Lily Briscoe but surely each Woolf’s own feelings at finishing this visionary novel.

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This list would not be complete without Orwell’s chilling last words. All hope is lost as our protagonist lets go of his free will and embraces a future that is summed up in the image of a boot stamping on a human face – forever.

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The closing lines of Mitchell’s novel somehow sum up the whole story. She offers us no solace, no closure and no lessons learned as Scarlett O’Hara heads back to Tara, hopeful that she will get Rhett back, someday.

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The unavoidable conclusion to Animal Farm is succinctly summed up in its very last line. The pigs have become the farmers, creating an oppressive totalitarian dictatorship, a complete betrayal of the utopia they imagined before they came to power. Sounds familiar.

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I had to include one of my favourite novels. The End of the Affair ends at the definitive ending of the affair when, too bruised and battered by the trauma of losing the love of his life, writer Maurice wants nothing more than to be left alone.

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One of the most passionate love stories in literature, The Age of Innocence closes with Newland Archer doing just as he has done ever since he sacrificed true love to remain in a loveless society marriage, he swallows his passion, denies himself pleasure and walks home alone.

 

Growing up, I always wanted to learn a different language.

But didn’t.

It is natural for us to look for ways to communicate the miles of meaning tucked beneath our skin.

These authors created such interesting languages that turn our understanding of language and human development around and shows us the connection between the two.

And they just sound cool.

Loonie (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress) Robert A. Heinlein

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Not really the language we would like to be speaking, Loonie, is the communication tactics of the crazies and insane prisoners isolated to the moon in this sci-fi amazingness.

Elvish (Lord of the Rings) J.R.R. Tolkien

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One of the sexier languages we’d love to hear Orlando Bloom conjure within our ears. Elvish is non-other than the language of the elves (duh) in this beautiful fantasy epic.

Valyrian (Game of Thrones) George R.R. Martin

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Not brutal Dothraki but awesome in it’s wake. Valyrian is the language of the once great people of Valyria Freehold and is the only true tongue meant for poetry. Even something as ominous as “All Men Must Die” sounds beautiful slipping through the lips of a high born Valyrian. Valar Morghulis

Parseltongue (Harry Potter) J.K. Rowling

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Slitheran is the most badass of all the houses. Like, they’re considered bad people. So when Harry started speaking Parseltongue, it was understandable that people were weary. Not much of a speakable language, Parseltongue, is none other than a bunch of hisses and slithers.

Nadsat (A Clockwork Orange) Anthony Burgess

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The language of the violent youth,  Alex and his gang of mischiefs toed the town in style and flashy British etiquette while sporting the bastard tongue of insanity.

Newspeak (1984) George Orwell

1984_by_alcook-d4z39dh-750x400Newspeak is an edited English that limits the people of free thought and free expression. Created by the totalitarian nation of Oceania to oppress all below them.

Arieki alien species (Embassytown) China Mieville

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Probably the most interesting language made in story books, the Arieki can only speak in literal terms. Therefor require assistance from humans to act out or translate their full meaning. They can use simile’s but metaphors are a no-go. Which makes this story an enticing read indeed.

These are your 5 Of The Most Famous Languages From Story Books We Wish We Could Speak.

We’re all afraid of something, be it spiders, ghosts, snakes or adult responsibilities, and with good cause, those things are scary as hell but if your fear is overwhelming and is a reaction to something that is generally considered harmless or non-frightening, then, I’m sorry dear, you may be suffering from a phobia.

The word phobia comes from the erudite Ancient Greeks whose word ‘phobos’ meant morbid fear, a fear that resists logic, rationality and common sense and as a result can be attributed to some very strange and abstract things.

Read on for 11 fantastical and frightening words for phobias you never knew existed.

Phobia 01

Perhaps we could have used this one in our ‘7 ways to say I’m just not into you’ article?

Phobia 02

Can you have a phobia of people who have ablutophobia?

Phobia 03

Every pop ballad music video is like Evil Dead for these folks. And Singing in the Rain? That filth should be banned.

Phobia 04

Now you mention it, all that empty space, all that endless, depthless nothingness, stretching off into forever, where does it end? WHERE DOES IT END?

Phobia 05

But woodworm are so cute with their sharp, little wood-chewing teeth and their cute larvae faces and their astonishing egg-laying capabilities. *retch*.

Phobia 06

Which brings us nicely to Emetophobia, the fear of vomiting. Of all the phobias on this list, this is the one I can sympathise with the most. Being sick is just the worst.

Phobia 07

There’s another word for these people and it kinda rhymes with campfire.

Phobia 08

Do not watch Lord of the Rings. I repeat, do not watch Lord of the Rings.

Phobia 09

One day your friend is going to turn up to a party with their hair all crazy and you’re going to be like, ha ha ha, look at your hair, what’s wrong, do you have a phobia of mirrors or something? And they’re going to be like, yes, it’s called Spectrophobia and its actually incredibly debilitating and you’re going to feel so bad.

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A fear of radiation seems pretty sensible to me, what with all the radiation sickness and skin burns and gene mutation and all. Where did I put that tin foil?

Phobia 11

FDR called it in his first inaugural address of March 1933 when he said ‘the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.’ Meant to bolster a population ground down by the Great Depression, FDR’s words gave courage and hope to a generation of Americans, excluding the Phobophobias of course who were like, yeah, thanks for that FDR, that really helps, great, thanks.

Winnie the Pooh may be a bear of very little brain who spends his days wandering around the forest wearing a t-shirt and no pants with his paw in a jar of hunny but he is also a poet and composer whose musings on friendship and love are as deep as his hunny pots.

A. Milne’s beloved story collections about Winnie the Pooh and his friends’ adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood are full of quotes that’ll hit you right in the feels. Here are 11 of our favourite.

On Saying Goodbye

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Sorry, there’s no easing you into it here. This is what Pooh bear has to say about death and letting go. It’s funny how can take the words of a fictional, anthropomorphic teddy bear to make you face your own mortality but just go with it, enjoy the Piglet and Christopher Robin in your life, and remember the wise words of Pooh when it’s time to say goodbye.

On Love

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Winnie the Pooh understands love better than any tortured poet or singer-songwriter I can think of. Pooh bear knows you don’t need to spell love, to analyse it, to understand it, to explain it, you just have to feel it, which is handy because Pooh bear can’t spell anyway.

On Friendship

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When you consider the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood and their many and complex emotional problems it makes sense that Pooh bear would hold regular group therapy sessions in between scenes.

The importance of stepping out of your comfort zone, the danger of judging people based on their appearance, the emptiness of a life lived without friends and the significance of being considerate, is there anything about effective social inclusion Pooh bear hasn’t got covered?

Nothing is sexier than seeing someone lost in a good book. Here are just some of the reasons why scientists are proving readers make better lovers.

1326425281951979Lindsay Neveu

Readers are more prone to self-reflection and understanding your needs.

Reading, especially poetry, stimulates the posterior cingulate cortex and medial temporal lobes linked to our brain’s most introspective state. The University of Exeter’s study, lead by Adam Zeman, would suggest that people who read “emotionally charged writing” became more “involved in the understanding of others’ beliefs.” This makes readers more likely to take stock of their own experiences in light of what they’re reading and show greater compassion for the feelings of others.

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Readers brain’s experience sensuous “chills” just thinking about that thing you do.

An Emory study by Gregory Burns put students in a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine shortly after reading a novel and found heightened connectivity in the primary sensory motor region, the central sulcus. This stimulates the neuron regions associated with the body in a “grounded cognition” seen most commonly in athletes. Even more titillating? Burns suggests, “The neural changes that we found associated with physical sensation and movement systems suggest that reading a novel can transport you into the body of the protagonist.”

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They’re less likely to forget your anniversary.

Novel readers are constantly developing and reinforcing connectivity in the brain and working out the left temporal cortex brain muscles connected to memory and receptive language. But even more important, readers showed an increased ability for understanding the beliefs and desires of others compared to that of non-readers. (So if they do forget, you’re way more likely to get an apology.)

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Their chill vibe makes them ready to give you a back rub and ask you about your day.

Dr. David Lewis, cognitive neuropsychologist at the Mind Lab in Essex, found that reading for just six minutes can reduce stress levels by up to 68%. “This is more than merely a distraction but an active engaging of the imagination as the words on the printed page stimulate your creativity and cause you to enter what is essentially an altered state of consciousness,” he believes.

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They’re hotter than non-readers.

In a study conducted by Mark Prokosch of North Carolina’s Elon University, more than 200 research participants confirmed that intelligence that sparks romantic interest almost as much as physical appeal. Prokosch’s study found that smart is sexy in both long-term relationships and short-lived flings, as is creativity. He noted that subjects “rated creativity was considerably more susceptible to the influence of physical attractiveness, suggesting that participants might be equating creativity with sexiness.”

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Readers are varsity-level flirts.

It all starts with some witty repartee, a few flirtatious texts, maybe a coyly winking email or two. And when it comes to vocabulary for flirty banter, size matters. Scholastic reported a direct connection between consistent readership and vocabulary; perfect for crafting exactly the right “come-hither” text message.

My biggest fear is to wake up in a world where my voice doesn’t matter.

A place where I am overtly judged by my sexual orientation or gender or even race.  That the contents of my being are lost amongst the populous. And no one questions their government or their fellow neighbor or even themselves.

Sound familiar?

These authors understood the awesome power of education and what these simple necessities can do for a progressive society.

This is what the world looks without it.

Logan’s Run by William F. Nolan (1967)

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Set in a future where death is required of those reaching a certain age one man’s job is to enforce this society’s terrible rule by tracking those who flee. But events ensue and Logan then finds himself on the run.

The Iron Heel by Jack London (1908)

 

vtkhgcit64szuaiahaqqA riveting and frightening tale of a society run by a small group of individuals with self interest at the top of their priorities. A pattern that is all to familiar in the U.S.

Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? by Phillip K. Dick (1968)

_do_androids_dream_of_electric_sheep___by_voodooheartscircus-d60tgy8A man is tasked with hunting and disabling escaped robots while traversing questions like: what does it mean to be human? What does it mean to have “empathy?”

The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi (2009)

paolo-bacigalupi-the-windup-girlThis story draws every single parallel imaginable to how our society is run now to it’s inevitable downfall if we don’t heed the earth’s warnings.

Or the literal warnings our scientists are telling us already.

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (1985)

The-Handmaids-Tale-1024x800Set in a totalitarian christian theocracy in the near future in an overthrown United States. This story follows a woman and concubine named “Offred” and the lengths women must go to gain agency in a society perpetually bent on keeping them down.

The Giver by Lois Lowry (1993)

The-Giver-e1356617426536Jonas is picked to inherit the memories of the world before the “sameness” and has intense trouble with morality and weighing good and evil in the process.

Divergent by Veronica Roth (2011)

DivergentFactionsDivergence is a dystopian trilogy about a young woman’s self-search in a world ruled by five factions bent on sacrificing individual will to keep the possibility of any one threatening it.

Wathcmen by Alan Moore (1986)

GalleryChar_1900x900_watchmen_52ab8b7e8ff2a4.25965674Watchmen is amazing.

Who has the authority to judge anyone? Who is above those above to make sure they are righteous?

In turn, who watches the Watchmen?

Animal Farm by George Orwell (1945)

George-Orwell-animal-farmEver wonder what it would be like if all the animals at your farm, ya know,

revolted and tried to kill you? Well this is what happens when we get our just desserts.

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (1932)

Brave_New_WorldA brilliant imagination of the developments of technologies, conditioning, and psychological manipulation, Brave New World casts its line into the shadowy future and pulls back this riveting tale of future not so different than what we know today.

Anthem by Ayn Rand (1937)

753058.anthemIn Anthem, one man steps away from the assembly line (literally) and ventures into the unknown. He discovers a forest, love, and the undying need to find that word burning on the tip of his tongue but can never seem to get it.

Do you know what it is?

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (1953)

fahrenheitSet in a time where books are illegal and fire fighters actually start the fires, one man well-off firefighter has an epiphany sparked by the mind of an inquisitive young woman.

And his world is set ablaze.

1984 by George Orwell (1949)

170908-george-orwell-and-1984Arguably the greatest representation of what our world would be like if we completely ignored the importance of being respected as individuals whatsoever by those granted with the divine power of an omnipresent government in the devastation of a world ruined by perpetual war.

The implications these stories present about our society are not so far off. But it’s these stories alone that peddle the awareness necessary to drive away such ideologies.

That’s it! Our list for 13 Dystopian Tales of Society That’ll Shake Your Soul

We’ve all heard them, those cheesy pick up lines or things are lovers say that are so cliche mozzarella filled, we just can’t help but love them for it.

I mean who doesn’t like to be told that they’re more beautiful when they smile? Or be asked if their father is a thief, you know, cause they’re are wondering who stole the stars from the sky and put them in my eyes.

Oh baby, You’re damn right I want you to talk cheesy to me!
1. Tell Me You Love Me
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2. You Want to Be With Me
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3. You just can’t explain it

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4. Seduce my mind
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5. Crave me in the most innocent of ways

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6. Tell me I’m beautiful, beyond my looks.
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7. Off-Handed Cheesy Lines Can Go A Long Way

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So go out there young lovers! And tell your moon and stars just how tired they must be, because they’ve been running through your mind all day! It’s no cliche if it’s true!

And you know what they say about being cheesy right? It’s hard to get it off your fingers 😉

Everyone wants to be the hero.

The way we write about superheroes strongly resembles how ancients wrote about their gods. Beautiful and perfect in every way while becoming victim to their own qualities, making them more human than anything else.

These stories tell the glory and epicness of the most epic but also that we are all under the foot of mortality.

And there are those willing to risk being stomped on.

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A 7th century B.C. Babylonian creation mythos that was believed to be recited during the Babylonian New Year or Akitu Festival.

The first part tells the story of how the gods were created. That they are the offspring of Apsu and Tiamat, the forces that were here before all.

In short, Apsu and Tiamat get upset over the gods and deem them unworthy at which point Marduk leads a war against them.

Apsu and Tiamat are slain. Tiamats body is divided into the heavens and earth and then humankind was made.

CypriaHOMERIC CYCLE

Cypria (7th century B.C.) is the first in the Epic (or Homeric) Cycle series of Greek literature. Along with the Odyssey and the Iliad and a few others they glued together accounts of the Trojan War.

It begins with Zeus wanting to do some population control with humanity so incites a war amongst the humans. In a long elaborate scheme of events, Zeus wins, everyone dies.

This story has been met with a lot of criticism. Being criticized by non other than Aristotle for being just a long list of events rather than having any story quality at all.

The Odysseysuitors

The amazing 8th century B.C. tale of one sh**ty man’s cunning, wit, precision in battle, extreme hypocrisy and straight up adultery.

Odysseus was a terrible man. He stole from giants. Slept around while claiming to be true at heart with his wife, then slaughters a bunch of fools doing that very same sh*t in his house.

Odysseus kinda sucked a lot, example wise. A degenerate and a sleaze. But a hero nonetheless.

There still may be hope for the rest of us.

Mahabharatamahabharata-kurukshetra_wallpaper_picture

A collection of old, old, Indian texts from around the 8th and 9th century B.C. It contains the entire Bhagavad Gita and a shorter form of the Ramayana another major Sanskrit epic of India, and other works as well.

Considered to be the longest poem in the world, it is said that it can fit The Odyssey in it 10 times over and it’s contemporary Ramayana, 4 times.

To the Mahabharata, above all, everything is connected. And evident within this timeless quote are its  teachings:

“… is the drop of rain any different from the vast ocean in which it falls into and vanishes?”

Telegony1280px-Odysseus_und_Penelope_(Tischbein)

In 6th century B.C. Telegony tells the story of the aftermath of The Odyssey and completes the prophecies laid out in it.

Separated in two episodes, this story spins the tales of Odysseus’ infidelities.

One episode tells the story of Telegonus. An offspring of Odysseus’ adultery with Circe in the Odyssey, Telegonus grows up and unknowingly travels to his fathers homeland.

Not knowing who they are to each other, Telegonus accidentally slays Odysseus. He realizes what he’s done, takes the body home, end of Odysseus.

The Epic of Gilgameshgilgamesh+y+enkidu

An amazing, amazing 2100 B.C. sumerian epic. One of the oldest texts to be dated, it tells the story of mans mortality. That no matter what, everything must die. Even the great undefeated Gilgamesh must accept his own mortality.

Beautiful story. Just read it, it’s not long. Do it.

 

The Tale of the Shipwrecked SailorSOSWS

Lastly, one of the oldest stories ever dating back to 2500 B.C. is this Middle Kingdom Egyptian tale.

It relays the account of a sailor, on a mission from the king of Ancient Egypt, is shipwrecked on an island to a serpent. Instead of killing each other, the two get along, the man is saved, the serpent is honored. The king is happy.

Quite a positive story indeed. Although many have speculated it’s sophistication in detailed analysis, it mostly boils down to being a good story tell.

That’s our list. 7 Of The World’s Oldest Epics That Have Stood The Test Of Time.

What’s Your Favorite Epic? Let Us Know In The Comments Below